flwrchild

What Might Have Been - A One Shot

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 02:58:51 GMT

What Might Have Been

“Hey Ennis,” Jack’s tone was tentative and he stoked the fire distractedly. “Y’ever wonder what it woulda been like if we’d…”

“Jack.” The quiet voice held a mild warning.

“Look, I know you don’t like to talk about it, but - ”

“Yer damn right I don’t like talking about it! Why do you have to stir it all up again?”

“I’m not. I just can’t help thinking sometimes that it could have been - ”

“It coulda but it ain’t. Let it go,” Ennis mumbled.

Jack looked back over his shoulder at Ennis and sighed. He knew this was a sore topic but sometimes that old feeling welled up inside of him and he just couldn’t stop himself from broaching the forbidden subject.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s just that I can picture those kids we were up on that mountain with our whole lives ahead of us and all the possibilities. The life we mighta had, the choices we coulda picked.”

“Well we ain’t those kids anymore and the choices have been made.” The edge remained in Ennis’ voice. “It’s a nice night. Can’t you just enjoy it and leave the past alone?”

“It’s a perfect night, Ennis. That’s just it. Don’t you ever wonder - ”

“Stop it, Jack! Don’t you get that it kills me to think of what my life mighta been like if we hadn’t taken a chance and grabbed onto that sweet life you were so set on?! Just thinkin’ of bein’ without you makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t want to think about where I’d be right now if I’d walked away from you. And I don’t need to picture all those other roads we didn’t take to know how lucky we been all these years to be together.”

His expression softened as he reached a hand out to the man who owned his heart and shared his life. “Now come on. You’re gonna get cold over there.”

Jack rose and climbed back up onto the big oak four poster in their newly renovated master bedroom. He leaned down and gave Ennis a deep, lingering kiss.

“Jesus, Ennis, sometimes you take my breath away.”

“Hmph,” Ennis muttered, embarrassed. “I know what’s goin’ on in that head of yours. You don’t gotta worry ’bout those kids no more, Jack. They were lookin’ out for us and I reckon we did ok by them too.”

Jack nestled close against Ennis, stretching out to touch him from head to toe, and sending up a prayer of thanks that those kids they’d been were held safe within the life they’d built together. “Thank God, Ennis.”

Ennis’ arms tightened around his partner. “Mm, thank God is right. I love you, Jack.”

Jack smiled into Ennis’s shoulder. “Love you too, cowboy.”

Destiny's Wheel

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 16:14:12 GMT

Destiny’s Wheel

Spring 1886

"Hi. Jim Tate. Welcome to the Barton River Mill."

The hand extended in friendly greeting met with a firm grip from the quiet newcomer.

"Ed Donnelly."

"Nice to know you, Ed Donnelly. This your first time working in a logging camp?"

"Yup."

"Well I been here almost a year now so I can show you the ropes. We’ll take a quick look around and then stow your gear in the cabin if you got any."

"Just this," Ed said holding up a small satchel.

"It’s good you travel light. They’ll supply you with everything you need here anyway."

"Hmm."

"You don’t talk much, do ya?" Jim laughed. "Don’t worry. I’m told I talk enough for at least two men. Come on. I‘ll show you around."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"God Jim, I swear, I never…"

"I know. Me neither. Don’t worry. It’s all right, it’s all right."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Hey, that mail you got there, Ed?"

"Uh…yeah."

"Well what’s it say?"

"Says my time here is up. Wedding’s been moved up to September and we’ll be moving to California. Margaret’s uncle got me a job with the railroad."

Jim’s voice dropped a notch as he took Ed’s elbow and led him away from the main house.

"But…what about…?"

Ed shook his head. “I gotta go Jim.”

"So this is it."

"Yeah."

With a sigh of regret, Jim said sadly as he turned away, "Have a nice life Ed."

* * * * * * * *

Summer 1963

"Jack Twist."

"Ennis."

"Your folks just stop at Ennis?"

"Del Mar."

"Nice to know you, Ennis Del Mar."

A world of possibility flashed in a dreamer’s blues eyes and hopeful grin.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"This is a one shot thing we got going here."

"It’s nobody’s business but ours."

"I told you it ain’t gonna to be like that."

"I wish I knew how to quit you."

"Jack, I swear."

* * * * * * * *

Fall 2009

"Hey there. You must be the new ranger."

"Must be."

"I’m Josh Taylor. We’ll be working together. How long you been with the forest service?"

"Not long. Just started in May, then got transferred up here."

"Me too. I finished training in February, been here since then. You got a name?"

"Sorry. Eric. Eric Dalton."

"Nice to know you, Eric Dalton."

"Nice to know you too, Josh."

And so destiny spins her wheel again, providing a new path for them to navigate, opening another door. Because she is a persistent guardian who won’t rest until every soul finds its way home.

* * * * * * * *

"A Handful of Wishes" - drabble

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 17:30:10 GMT

A Handful of Wishes

Jack Twist had always been a dreamer. Wishing on stars, birthday candles, and the occasional rainbow.

He probably had a wish for every day of his life. Little things, mostly, wished for just to pass the hours, or transport him to another place or time.

The really important ones, though, he could count on one hand.

As a boy, for the longest time, all he’d wanted was some sign of love or approval from his father. That one had long since been put aside.

When he got older, his biggest wish was just to be somewhere, anywhere else than Lightning Flat.

In the summer of ‘67, he took a chance and, for the first time, shared his wish with another person. “What if you and me had a little ranch somewhere, little cow and calf operation, be a sweet life.”

He’d kept his wishes to himself since then.

Now, lying on the cold, lonely ground, stained dark with his blood, Jack wished that he’d had the courage to tell Ennis Del Mar, just one time, how he really felt about him. Because now he would never know, and Jack’s heart was filled with regret that this was something he could have given him, but didn’t.

Looking up into the dark night sky, Jack caught sight of a star, and sent up one last, hopeless wish. “If only there was a way to let you know. I’m sorry, Ennis. I love you.”

Drabble: A Moment of Truth

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 04:54:54 GMT

A postcard, a phone call, a long drive along country roads.

All stops along the way, leading him here, to this drab little room that guarded such a cherished treasure.

He clutched the fabric to his heart, trying in vain to capture the scent of the other half of his soul.

Catching his breath, he opened his mouth instinctively to speak.

Though the minute the words formed on his lips, Ennis finally realized they were the same words Jack had been trying to say to him in his own quiet and desperate way all those years, he still couldn’t help saying them aloud.

“Please don’t leave me…please don’t leave me…please don’t leave me…”
.

Drabble: A Fulfilling Meal

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 04:39:25 GMT

A greasy hamburger and french fries.

It was a somewhat shabby little diner, but Jack didn’t care. Ennis’s truck had gotten a flat tire on the trip out. They had time to kill while he waited to get the new one on and the alignment checked, so they were sharing a meal before heading off in their separate directions again.

It was one of those rare times that Ennis was willing to be seen with him in public, usually reluctant to meet anywhere but the remote locations they chose for their ‘fishing trips’, like when that freak storm blew in the spring before last and they took refuge at Mona’s All-Night Coffee Shop ‘til it passed.

Jack relished these simple times together, out in the world like normal people instead of tucked away in the woods like some kind of shameful secret. He took comfort in the bright fluorescent lights and bustle of activity. It made him feel like they were just a couple of folks, like any other you’d see around, with just as much right to be there together as anyone else.

Sometimes being with Ennis out in the middle of nowhere made Jack feel so isolated that it seemed almost like a figment of his imagination, as if it were all a dream and not real at all. The very ordinariness of their surroundings here gave “this thing” of theirs credence, in a way that the flickering light of a campfire couldn’t quite do. One smile from Ennis, out here in the open where anyone could see it, was worth almost as much as a dozen rugged embraces under a silent moon.

Soon, as Jack knew it would, their time in this urban oasis came to an end. He would drive Ennis back to his truck and they would say goodbye, forbearing even to shake hands, an awkward “See ya next time” sufficing for their farewell. He turned to look at the remnants on the used dishes that were the only mark of their having been here together.

A greasy hamburger and french fries.

It was the best meal he had all year.

Dream challenge drabble: That Kinda Dream

Mon, 10 Sep 2007 03:54:49 GMT

That Kinda Dream

“Daddy, you ever dream you can fly?”

“Huh?”

Junior’s question surprised Ennis and he looked across the trailer at her curiously.

She smiled back at him and explained, “I had a dream last night where I was flyin’. I get ‘em sometimes. What d’you s’pose they mean?”

He shrugged and mused, “Hmm, guess it prob’ly means ya wanna do somethin’ or have somethin’ ya can’t in yer real life.”

She nodded and said, “Yer prob’ly right. You ever have that kinda dream, Daddy?”

His mind flashed on two figures leaping from a cliff into freedom, campfires flickering on moonlit nights, warm bodies tangled together, and blue eyes that could see straight through to his soul.

With a deep breath and a sigh, he smiled at her sadly and answered, “Yeah honey. I did once.”

The Strangest Dream

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 19:21:02 GMT

The Strangest Dream

August 1983

Ennis Del Mar twisted and writhed in his bed, his fitful slumber punctuated with muffled groans.

He woke with a start, jerking upright in his bed. Sweat covered his body, tears dampened his face. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to their familiar surroundings.

Hazy images lingered in his head. Blazing red letters spelling a word his mind couldn’t comprehend and his heart couldn’t accept. Bittersweet journeys, bloodstained shirts, endless days under a dull gray sky.

Twenty minutes later, he was in his truck heading south.

“Fuck the calving.”

He stopped for gas somewhere in Oklahoma. A black resistol caught his eye and he couldn’t help looking at the tall dark haired man wearing it. From the back, it almost looked like…

Jesus, I’m seein’ him everywhere.

Ennis was just giving himself a mental shake when the man turned around. A stunned breath choked out of him as recognition hit, and their gaze met.

Jack’s eyes widened as he realized he was staring into the eyes of the very man he’d been coming to see.

“Ennis?!”

“Jack! What the hell are you doin’ here?!”

A bemused look crossed Jack’s face, a mix of shock, confusion and joy, as he closed the distance between them and came to stand in front of Ennis.

“Fact is, I was comin’ ta see you. I know it’s gonna sound crazy,” he said, still shaking his head in wonder.

“I had the strangest dream.”

A Pinch of Reality

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 22:11:28 GMT

Here is a little something fun for this month's Dream Challenge.

A Pinch of Reality

It was early fall in Colorado, and there was a soft breeze in the air.

The sun was just setting over the mountains. Jack and Ennis were leaning back in comfortable chairs on the porch of their ranch, watching the last trails of color fade away.

Jack took a swig of beer and turned to Ennis. “Hey Ennis.”

Ennis rolled his head lazily across the back of his chair to look at Jack. “Mm?”

“Ya ever have a dream and realize in the middle of it that it ain’t real? Suddenly you can tell it’s a dream cause it’s just too good ta be true?”

Brows furrowed in thought, Ennis responded “Can’t rightly recall. Why?”

Jack grinned and said “Well, pinch me cowboy, cause I just got to that part a the dream.”

> # <

“Ow! What the Hell’d ya do that for?!”

“You just said ta pinch ya!”

“Well shit, Ennis, ain’t you ever heard of a figure a speech?”

The small twitch at the corner of Ennis’s mouth spread into a full smirk.

“Still think it’s too good ta be true?”

“Yep,” Jack answered, contentedly rubbing the tender spot on his arm, “Sure do.”

Four Years

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 06:34:49 GMT

Four Years

Four years. Damn.

Four years since brown eyes had turned away from blue and disappeared down that dusty stretch of road.

Four years of head down, follow the set path, try to forget what freedom and happiness taste like.

Son of a bitch, son of a bitch.

Two bodies making up for lost time. Pressed together in a dance meant only for them. Desperately holding on in case the song ends once again too soon.

One summer never forgotten, mountain fire reignited in a tangle of limbs.

A force of nature which can neither be predicted nor controlled.

Four years.

Two hearts.

One embrace.

And a softly whispered phrase that went straight to Jack’s soul, claiming him for all time.

“Little darlin.”

Stalled

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 04:27:13 GMT

Stalled

Guarded brown eyes meet bright blue across a campfire.

An unlikely pair.

They circled each other, wary animals at first.

Jack the spirited puppy; the kind that keeps coming back wagging
its tail, offering love no matter how many times life has kicked it
around.

Ennis the wounded horse; the kind that can relax and run free
out on the safety of the open range, easily spooked around other
horses and people, keeping its head down in the stall, hoping not to
be noticed.

Maybe they never got much farther than that.

“Truth is…sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.”

The horse nuzzles the soft, comforting fur of the puppy sadly, and stays in
its stall.

One

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 04:19:15 GMT

One

Ennis stood in the gift shop looking through the postcard rack.

"Hey there, Ennis. Lookin' for anything in particular?"

"Scene a Brokeback Mountain."

"Over in Fremont County?"

"No, north a here."

"I didn't order none a them. Let me get the order list. They got it I can get you a hundred."

"One's enough", said Ennis.

One postcard.

One pair a shirts.

One love.

Some things in life you don't need but one of.

The Nicest Place

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 04:16:20 GMT

The Nicest Place

“Hey Ennis?”

“Yeah bud?”

“You ever think about…where ya wanna be laid to rest?”

“Laid to…Jesus, Jack, I dunno. Never gave it much thought. Why ya askin’ that?”

The partial moon shed only the faintest light in the little tent and Ennis shifted around to try to see Jack better.

“Just been thinkin’ ‘bout it is all.”

Jack lay on his back staring up into the darkness.

“Y’ain’t sick, are ya?” Ennis sounded worried now.

Jack turned toward him. “Nah, nothin’ like that. Just thinkin’.”

“Hmm.”

“So?”

“So, what? Told ya I never thought much about it. We got years to worry about shit like that.”

“Still, the time’ll come. You gonna just let ‘em throw you in a corner somewhere?”

Ennis sighed. “Whaddaya want me to say? Someplace nice.”

Jack laid back again and rested his head on his arm. “Just someplace nice?”

“I dunno. Nicest place I could think of, I guess.”

There was a pause long enough for Ennis to wonder if Jack had fallen back asleep and then he said quietly “Yeah, me too.” .

A Twist of Fate

Mon, 14 May 2007 04:49:43 GMT

This one popped into my head when I woke up this morning, Mother's Day. Another peek at a day in the life of Ennis Del Mar.

A Twist of Fate

“Oh my God. This is so exciting! I can’t believe she’s actually having her baby on Mother’s Day!”

Francine Del Mar was a bundle of restless energy, as she chattered on about the imminent arrival of her first niece or nephew.

The small welcoming party consisted of Francine, her mother, and her father. Monroe was at home with their boys, and the father-to-be had disappeared behind an imposing set of hospital doors shortly after greeting them and thanking them for coming.

Two hours later, Francine had not lost any of her enthusiasm. Alma and Ennis sat quietly for the most part. They let her prattle on about how cool it was going to be for her to be an aunt, and answered the occasional question she had about when she and her sister were born.

Finally, at 11:36 a.m., the proud papa emerged again to announce the new arrival.

“It’s a boy,” he beamed, “You can come back and see him now.”

When they arrived at Alma Jr’s room, they found her propped up in her bed with the new baby nestled in her arms. She smiled up at them and said “Come and meet little Jack.”

Ennis looked up, startled. “Whut?”

Junior smiled, oblivious to the impact this announcement had had on her father, and said “We named him Jackson, after Kurt’s daddy.”

Ennis and Alma exchanged a quick glance. Something unreadable flashed in her eyes and then was gone, and she turned her attention to the baby.

Ennis found his mind drifting inevitably to Jack. To those blue eyes that never left his memory and frequently haunted his dreams. Every day held some reminder. A song, a smell, a glimpse of a dark hat in a crowd. He was used to it but this one had been unexpected.

He looked again at his grandson. ‘Little Jack’.

It felt comforting somehow, as if some part of his own Jack would live on, as long as his name did.

Francine came and put her hand on his arm. “Don’t you just love him Daddy?”

Ennis shook his head, and came back out of his reverie. “Huh?”

“I was talking about Jack. Don’t you just love him?”

Ennis returned his attention to his little girl and with a gentle, slightly sad smile said “Yeah, honey, I surely do.”

I Didn't Mean to Fall

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 16:04:43 GMT

I Didn't Mean to Fall

It was a summer like any other. Back-breaking work for a good for nothin' boss. Sleepin' on the ground, nothin' but beans or worse to eat, chasin' after cattle or sheep. Then suddenly it was about sharing stories, learning secrets, forging a friendship. Makin' you smile. You listened when I talked. Acted like you cared about what I thought. Made me feel like I wasn't alone in the world. And that's when I knew. I couldn't help how I felt. I didn't mean to fall.

Four years passed till I found again the piece of me that was lost. I wanted a sweet life. You said now and then would have to do. I lived for those moments and that was ok. But then your postcard came and I thought....but I had it all wrong and you sent me away. I couldn't stand it, didn't know what to do. Shoulda never gone to Mexico, but in that moment there was nothin' left of me. I swear, Ennis, I didn't mean to fall.

The years went by. We lost our way. It's hard livin' half a life. We never quit, though, don't forget that. Woulda stood it forever, I think. But f***-all has worked the way I wanted. And there are some forces that just can't be stopped. If it was up to me, friend, I'd still be there. Waitin', hopin', lovin'. I never wanted to leave you. I'm sorry, Ennis, I didn't mean to fall.

Part of a Week at Don Wroe's Cabin ~ NC-17

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 18:04:40 GMT

A Change of Venue

"Shit. 5 days."

"Yep."

"Sleepin' in a real bed."

"Yep."

"And fuckin' indoor plumbing."

"Mm hmm."

Jack and Ennis were standing in front of a small cabin, nestled deep in the woods. There was a little stream that one could call a river (if one had a lively imagination) that ran along the back of the property. And no other structures for acres on either side.

Jack was thrilled when Ennis wrote to tell him they'd have the use of Don Wroe's cabin for their trip this year. And now he was nodding in approval.

"Ya done good friend. Ya done real good."

Ennis felt a warmth spread through him at the praise. He was happy to finally be able to give something to Jack, even if it was something borrowed.

"Even got a tv," he said. "First thing I need to do is take a shower though. I come straight from work. Hope you don't mind."

Jack smiled and said "Nah, you go ahead. I'll bring the supplies in and get stuff put away. I'm just happy not to be settin' up camp in the cold."

He went to his truck and started retrieving his gear while Ennis went inside to clean up.

------------------------------

Fifteen minutes later, Jack was standing in the kitchen unloading groceries when Ennis stepped out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his still damp waist.

"Findin' everything ok?", he asked as he padded into the kitchen on wet, bare feet.

Jack whistled. "Well hello there, cowboy."

Ennis recognized the suggestive tone in Jack's voice and blushed. That Jack could still have such an effect on him after all this time was something that he found disconcerting. He cleared his throat.

"Jack, if you wait till I get dressed, I can help you get all that stuff put away."

Jack eyed him up and down before turning his attention back to the task at hand. Casually, he said "Now what fun would that be? I'm almost done here anyway. Just unpacking the food. Got some good stuff since we'll be cookin' indoors."

Ennis looked at the items in the bag Jack was emptying. "Maple syrup?"

Jack smiled. "Yep. I'm gonna make pancakes."

Ennis continued his inspection. "FrootLoops. Donuts. Jack, you eat way too much sugar. No wonder you're so hyper - what's the chocolate sauce for?"

"Hot chocolate. Throw in some brandy and it'll warm ya right up, all the way to yer toes."

"Hmm. Sounds good."

Ennis moved closer to help with the food and made the mistake of brushing up against Jack. With no warning whatsoever, a well-muscled arm shot out and snatched the towel from around Ennis's waist.

"Jack..." The warning tone in Ennis's voice was clear.

But Jack was always testing boundaries, and with a devilish grin he backed away from Ennis and said "Come and get it."

The chase around the table was a short one. Whether this is because Ennis was the faster runner or because his prey actually wanted to get caught is anyone's guess. The result was Jack bent over the surface that used to hold their groceries, a naked Ennis pinned on top of him, and a pool of maple syrup forming where the bag and its unpacked food, which had been so unceremoniously knocked aside, landed at their feet.

"C'mon Jack, give me what's mine", he growled. And then pressed his lips down and kissed Jack long and hard.

Jack gave as good as he got, and when they both came up for air, he smiled a wicked smile. "It's all yours", he said as he tossed the towel into the air.

Ennis took a step back to catch it, just as Jack saw that he was headed straight for the syrup, which was now pooling together with the spilled chocolate sauce.

"Ennis, look out!"

But the warning came too late and Ennis's foot slid out from under him, sending him to the floor in a heap on his back.

Square in the middle of the sticky puddle.

There was a moment of stunned silence while brown eyes flashed at blue, as they each realized what had happened. The silence was broken by the sound of Jack's rich laugh, as he tilted his head back in childlike amusement. The fury in Ennis's eyes came and went quickly, to be replaced by a look of mischievous revenge. With a low grunt, he rolled over, grabbed Jack's leg and knocked him to the floor. They rolled around fighting for dominance until Jack emerged the victor, straddling Ennis, legs pinning legs, hands planted on either side of his face, squishing into the mess below.

"You know", he said panting slightly, "Suddenly my sweet tooth is gettin' all sorts of cravings."

"Jack fuckin' Twist", Ennis muttered, with absolutely no animosity.

He shook his head and said "Yer name suits you Jack. You are twisted."

Jack just laughed again. "Come on cowboy, let's get you on your feet."

"Shit, Jack, lookit the mess we made."

"Yeah yeah, we'll clean it up later. First things first. We're covered in slime. Better hit the shower and get cleaned up."

"Was cleaned up already till you got a hold 'a me", Ennis griped good-naturedly.

"Don't worry. I'll make it up to you", Jack promised, and Ennis noticed the gleam was back in his eyes.

They made their way carefully to the bathroom, trying to leave as much of the mess in the kitchen as possible and not trail it all over the cabin.

Ennis stepped into the tub and Jack said "Soon as I get these off I'll join ya", as he started stripping off his soiled clothes.

Ennis reached for the shower knob and Jack said "Hold up there friend. We don't want to be wasting water. I'm sure we can clean some of this off ourselves and save the water for a final rinse."

And before he knew it, Jack was right behind him, pushing him against the tile, sticky fingers tracing along an equally sticky back.

Ennis shuddered and murmured "Jack" softly as Jack leaned in and replaced fingers with his tongue, lapping up the sugary remnants of their kitchen floor scuffle. He moved from the right shoulder blade to the left, leaving kisses behind as he cleaned a trail along Ennis's back. Still not lifting his lips from his human canvas, he reached a hand around, saying "Looks like I got some on me too", and slipped two fingers into Ennis's mouth. Ennis shivered and groaned, sucking the sticky fingers in, tasting a mix of chocolate, maple, and Jack. Pressed up together, not even air getting between their bodies, he could feel how hard Jack was.

And then Jack moved back a bit, eliciting a small whimper when he removed his fingers from Ennis's eager mouth. He started a trail south, straight down the middle of Ennis's back. Stopping for every trace of sweetness, tasting every drop. He followed the natural flow of liquid down...down...down to its inevitable resting place. When his tongue snaked out to catch the collected matter, Ennis jerked and said "Jack!" nervously, as he looked around.

"Ssh, don't worry Ennis. I won't do anything you don't want me to."

Ennis relaxed into the sensation as Jack ministered to his tingling flesh, kissing and licking him in places he'd never touched before. Masterfully treading the fine line between exciting Ennis and venturing beyond his comfort zone.

"Oh God Jack..."

Knowing what Ennis was feeling because he was throbbing with it himself, Jack put his hands on Ennis's hips and gently turned him around. In a move Ennis could only think of as graceful, he reached around to turn on the shower at the same time he lowered his head and took Ennis into his mouth, tip of shaft to base. Ennis groaned as Jack began to move up and down, the rhythmic movement almost hypnotizing. He ran his hands through Jack's hair, gently gripping his head as the pace increased, almost losing himself in the pleasure of it. It took all the control he could muster to pull back and say

"Jack....Jack....wait, Jack. I don't wanna...not like that."

He pulled Jack up and turned him around. Now it was Jack's turn to lean palms against tile, as Ennis reached for the shampoo and spread it liberally on both of them. Jack groaned as Ennis pushed gently into him, slow thrusts joining the two trembling bodies as the water washed softly over them. It was hard to distinguish the moans of one man from the other as they moved together with the perfect pace of total familiarity.

Jack sucked in a deep breath when Ennis reached around and wrapped a shampoo-covered hand around him, stroking him even as he began thrusting faster, deeper; the increased pace letting Jack know he was about to burst. Jack covered his hand with his own. Then with a strangled cry of "Ennis!", Jack poured out over their joined hands. A couple more thrusts and Ennis came with a deep shudder, spilling himself into Jack and collapsing his head onto Jack's shoulder.

They stood that way for a while, quietly letting the water run over them, breathing in tandem as their heartbeats finally slowed to normal and the water began to turn colder. With a sigh born of deep satisfaction, Ennis lifted his head and said "Come on Rodeo. We're gettin' all shriveled up in here." Jack reluctantly pushed away from the wall and turned to shut off the water and grab a towel to dry off with.

Once they'd cleaned up the mess in the kitchen and settled in to go to sleep (in a 'real live, honest to goodness bed', as Jack declared), Ennis wrapped his arms around Jack in the darkness and asked "How is it that you keep findin' ways to mix food in with sex anyway?"

Jack let out a playful laugh and said "Just lucky, I guess."

******************

A Short Piece with Pictures

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 17:45:04 GMT

A Moment in Time

Two boys, just becoming men, wrestled happily in the afternoon sun. The sheer joy of being together propelled their every movement, no thought given to the days to come.

A pair of eyes watched them from the trees, disapproving and scornful, a grim foretelling of what they would face from the outside world.

Another pair of eyes watched from above, loving eyes that knew the hardships they would face in the future. Preparing arms that would welcome them home when their long journey was through.

And on the grass below, blissfully unaware of the scrutiny from either set of eyes, the two figures came together in one moment of perfect happiness.

A Little Time with Ennis

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 17:39:44 GMT

The Time Between

"Jack? You there Jack?"

"Yeah, Ennis, I'm here."

Ennis sighed. It might be crazy to be talking to Jack like this, knowing he was gone, but he didn't care. It brought him comfort to feel Jack with him and some days it was the only thing that got him through. Jack didn't always answer but somehow Ennis always felt he was there.

He leaned back on his bed and spoke into the darkness.

"I thought of you today bud. Got a new mare out at Stoutamire's. Real low startle point. Ranch hand gettin' tossed all over the place. Damn fool kid. I 'member the first time I saw you on a horse. Always loved to watch you ride."

Jack chuckled. "You shoulda seen me ridin' bulls. Talk about gettin' tossed around."

"Bet you was real fine." Ennis said quietly.

It was how most of their conversations went. No grand declarations, no impassioned speeches. The time for all of that had passed; the revelations had all been made. Now it was just a matter of Ennis filling out the days remaining on the calendar of his life.

Days spent either working or being with his kids, the only thing in this world his heart still had room for. Nights spent dreaming of Jack. Sometimes young and full of energy and hope. Other times world-weary and worn. In the nightmares, he lay still and bleeding.

Some says the dawn brought with it sweet memories of the night before that could warm Ennis throughout the day. Some days he awoke trembling, unable to shake the sense of loss and regret.

It was the time spent with Jack in the evenings, the time between the waking sleep of his days and the fitful slumber of his nights, that most eased his body and soul. He struggled sometimes to find a way to express his gratitude to Jack for this gift. And his regret that this was where their journey had led them.

"Can't believe you still ain't quit me, Jack," he said tonight. "God knows I gave ya enough cause to. But I did want that life Jack, I surely did. Just couldn't see how we could do it. I'm sure as Hell sorry. You know I am Jack, I swear."

Another sigh rose out of the darkness.

"I know friend. It's all right. Let be. Let be."

And so another day came to an end and Ennis closed his eyes, Jack's forgiveness held close to his heart, soothing him as he drifted off to sleep.

Jack Gets "Creative"

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 17:32:25 GMT

A Special Treat

"98, 99, 100. Ready or not, here I come."

Jack made a good show of hunting around in the woods a bit before finally zeroing in on his prey. Even if he hadn't been peeking through his fingers, there was no mistaking the rustling sound coming from behind a nearby tree.

He made sure to tread heavily on some twigs to his left before deftly slipping around from the right to grab an obviously waiting Ennis.

"Gotcha! I win."

"You cheat."

"Yep, and you always let me win."

Jack grinned at Ennis and then dumped a pile of leaves on his head.

"I don't know why I always let you talk me into this," Ennis muttered, shaking his head.

"Cause neither one of us had any fun when we were kids," Jack reminded him.

"And cause we both like it when I collect my prize."

He was looking at Ennis with a decidedly predatory look in his eyes now.

"Twist...." Ennis warned, but still had enough presence of mind to turn and run.

Jack was hard on his heels and caught up with him just as he reached the campsite. They fell together in a heap and Jack rolled on top of Ennis, pinning him down in the dirt.

"Yer mine now cowboy," he leered down at his captive.

Ennis, for his part, looked perfectly content to be caught and awaited his fate with an amused smile.

But Jack surprised him by rolling off of him almost as quickly as he'd tackled him in the first place. He reached a hand down and said "Not here. In the tent."

"Since when are you bashful in front of nature?"

Jack just laughed and said "C'mon. Into the tent."

Once inside, he pushed Ennis down again and started tugging at his buttons even as his lips claimed the mouth below him.

Ennis was moaning and pushing up against Jack. Finally, when his clothes had been discarded, Jack reached over and grabbed a paper bag. Ennis recognized it from the diner Jack always stopped at on his way to camp.

"You want a brownie now?!" he asked incredulously.

With a suggestive lift of his eyebrows, Jack said "That's in the other bag. This is a special treat."

And with a flourish, he pulled out....a tub of whipped cream.

Ennis looked at him suspiciously. "And just what were you plannin' to do with that?"

Now Jack was sporting an almost wolf-like grin.

"Just think of it as icing on a cupcake," he said as he advanced toward Ennis.

"Twist, yer outta yer mind. I ain't a cupcake and you ain't puttin' that on me!"

Jack didn't say anything. He just dipped a finger into the gooey confection and slid it between Ennis's lips. Ennis was startled and sucked the cream-covered finger into his mouth instinctively.

Jack trembled a little and said in a low voice "Tastes good, don't it? I wanna taste some too....on you."

Ennis watched with wide eyes as Jack smeared the whipped cream all over his hardened length, shuddering a little at the soft, cool sensation.

With a grin and a wink, Jack leaned over and began methodically licking the sweet substance off again, as Ennis groaned and let his head drop back to the floor. Jack continued licking until all of the 'icing' was gone and then wrapped his lips seductively around the now throbbing shaft. He moved slowly at first, taking it in and then almost out, flicking lightly at the tip with his tongue. As Ennis began to buck and moan, Jack took him in deeper and moved faster. One hand moved around to his ass to pull him even closer while the other worked steadily in front with practiced movements. Ennis was making unintelligible, guttural noises. And then, as his whole body stiffened, Ennis cried out "Jaacck!", shuddering his release, and Jack was filled with the taste of Ennis. And just a hint of whipped cream.

Jack laid down next to Ennis and rested a happy cheek against his chest. All too soon, the trip would be over and Ennis would curl back up inside of himself. But right now he was happy. Jack could feel it in the beating of his heart. And so for a few short days, he would wrap his arms and his heart around that. And for now, that would just have to be enough.

An Ennis drabble with a Coda

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 17:26:21 GMT

The Postcard

- November 7th 2005 -

"Thank you Dr. Carson."

Francine Russell hung up the phone and turned to her sister.

"Ok, Junior, he said the funeral home will send someone right over.

You think I should call Mama?"

"Nah, we can call her later.

He looks so peaceful, doesn't he?"

The illness had not been drawn out. Pneumonia, the doctors said. So they'd brought their daddy home to his little apartment and made him as comfortable as possible.

He was at ease with the news from the start. Told them he was glad to have lived long enough to see them grown and have families of their own. And said they were what he was most proud of in his life.

They were with him at the end. He had smiled and said "It's all right," then simply gone to sleep.

As they looked at him now, Junior noticed something clutched in his right hand, close to his heart. She took it and held it where they could both see it.

"Someone's going to be disappointed." Franny said. "Too bad there's no return address. No way to let them know."

"I'm sure the post office will forward any new mail that comes in back to the sender if they write again," Junior assured her, as she gently placed the item on the table by the bed.

It was a postcard with a picture of a mountain lake on one side.

On the other was a brief message. It was unsigned and said simply:

"Ennis,

It's time. How about November 7 for you. I'll meet you at Pine Creek."

And the Coda

Daddy's Last Wishes

Junior eyed the funeral home director sternly.

"This is not open for negotiation."

The director looked uncomfortable and shifted his gaze to the floor.

"Well uh, Mrs. Foster seemed to think it would be more appropriate -- "

Junior broke in before he could finish.

"I am aware of my mother's opinion, Mr. Peters. But my father left very specific instructions and I intend to see that they are carried out."

"Of course, Mrs. Walters. I'm sorry for any inconvenience."

And so it was that Ennis Del Mar was laid to rest in a cotton shirt, jeans, and cowboy boots. With two shirts, one inside the other, sleeves intertwined, held close to his chest.

A Poem on the Journey of Ennis and Jack's Lives

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 17:18:15 GMT

Once

Once there was a man, barely more than a child.
Quiet and shy.
Alone in the world.
Trying to understand the lessons of his youth.
Hoping to find his peace in an uncompromising world.

Once there was a man, barely more than a boy.
Friendly and restless.
Striking out on his own.
Trying to outrun the shadows of his youth.
Hoping to find his destiny in a promising world.

They came together like stars colliding.
The electric charge of their hearts' union
reflected in the light of a mountain fire.

One summer, two hearts.
High hopes, dark fears.
A slow-motion, headlong, irreversible fall.

A twist of fate.
A joining of souls.
A love that could not breathe free
on the grieving plain of this earth.

Stolen moments. Never enough time.
A lifetime of hopes and dreams
brought to an end on a dark, lonely road.
One door closes, another door opens.
A truth is unlocked.
Regret mingles with acceptance.
Destiny comes full circle.

Once there was a man....

A Super Short Piece

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 17:10:02 GMT

Colors

Red for my blood on his sleeve.
Blue that flashed in his startled eyes.
Purple the bruise rising on his cheek.
Gray the dust of that lonely road.
Black is my heart as I walk away.

A drabble from Jack's POV

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 17:01:08 GMT

Jack's Room

When I was young, I used to sit in this room and stare out the window. Dream of the day I could get out of here. So sure that road out there was my only way to happiness.

What a cruel twist of fate that keeps bringing me back to this same room, now a haven for my only connection to that fleeting happiness. This one physical, faded reminder of that old, cold time on the mountain when we owned the world and nothing seemed wrong.

I have followed many roads but they all lead back here. As long as I have this, I know it was all real. I'll go out into that other world, where I pretend to live, for a while. But I will always come back here, where this one piece of Heaven remains untouched.

Who would've thought?

Maybe this room holds the key to my happiness after all.

From a line in the short story

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 00:58:00 GMT

Going Home
Ennis woke with a start and saw Jack standing by his bed.
"What the Hell are you doing here?" he grumbled.
He hated when the image of Jack lingered after he woke. Didn't like those two worlds to collide. The dream world where Jack was still young and vibrant and the waking world where he was nothing but a sad, sweet memory. Ennis shook his head. He couldn't even remember the dream this time.
The last thing he remembered was Junior's birthday party, little Mary standing on his feet demanding "Dance with me Grandpa. Dance with me."
"I came for you."
Jack's voice broke through his reverie and his head snapped up. "Whut?"
Jack looked at him with soft eyes and held out his hand. "C'mon cowboy. You've earned your rest. Say your goodbyes and we'll go."
Ennis turned his head and instead of the spartan little trailer that had been his home for the last ten years, he saw what looked like a small garden, his family gathered around.
"Jack?"
Realization was dawning slowly and when it finally hit, he sank to his knees and buried his head in his hands.
"I been waiting so long Jack."
"I know friend. Me too."
Jack pulled Ennis to his feet and held him tight. "You ready now?"
Ennis opened his eyes and saw Brokeback in the distance over Jack's shoulder. He took a deep breath and put his hand in Jack's. Together they walked toward the mountain where it all began.
A pair of deuces going somewhere.
Going home.
-The End-

This one is canon

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 00:45:30 GMT

A Horse With No Reins
"Anything interesting up there in Heaven?"
Jack looked over at Ennis, stretched out by the fire, the glow of the embers lighting up his face.
"I was just sending up a prayer of thanks."
"For what?"
For bringing you back inta my life. For lettin' me know you felt what I felt up on that mountain. For takin' away that awful loneliness and makin' me feel alive again. For lettin' me forget, just for a little while, how hard it is to walk through a day without you. For lettin' me breathe again. And remember what it feels like to be me.
"For you forgettin' to bring that harmonica. I'm enjoyin' the peace and quiet."
Jack laughed that easy laugh that Ennis could always trigger.
So you say cowboy. I know you feel what I feel. Knew it when you kissed me like that for all the world to see. Saw it in your eyes. You missed me the way I missed you. Not just the sex.
This. Me. Us. I know what you said before but I gotta give it one more try cause....
"It could be like this, just like this, always."
*****************************************
In the end it was as it was meant to be. Both understanding more than the other could ever say. Both doing the best they could with what they had. Both wishing they lived in a world where things could be different. And both knowing that, however it turned out, they would stay with the ride as far as it would take them. Because when there ain't no reins, you don't control the horse. It controls you.
-The End-

Another AU Drabble

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 00:35:53 GMT

Shooting Stars

In a lonely trailer, a weary man sat crumpled on the floor, clutching two stiff old shirts tightly to his chest. Holding the proof in his hands of what Jack had been trying to show him all those years. What he just hadn't been able to face till now. Now when it was too late. That for Jack, it had always been love: something to cherish and protect, not to hide out of shame.

"Please God, it's a mistake.....it can't be true...."

He could picture Jack, barely shed of boyhood. "I might be back..."

Then again as a full grown man. "It could be like this, just like this, always..."

And finally, weathered by life, defeated in disappointment. "We could've had a good life..."

All because Ennis had been so sure of his beliefs, so smug in his self righteous punishment of both himself and Jack for what he thought was 'wrong' in them. Realizing only now that God would never have brought them together if he hadn't meant for them to be together.

He curled into a ball and whispered into the material clasped in his arms "If it could've been different....if I had another chance to tell you...Jack, I swear..."

Somewhere in the Heavens, a shooting star flashed by.

And a prayer was answered.

Ennis Del Mar woke with a start, pajamas drenched in sweat, limbs shaking.

A dream. It was just a dream.

Jack.

The phone rang insistently as the dark-haired man hurried across the room, dropping his keys on the table by the door.

"Hello?"

"Jack?"

There was a long pause on the line. "Ennis?"

"Is it too late Jack?"

"Nah, bud, it's only 9:30."

A choked laugh broke into a sob as Ennis collapsed against the glass of the phone booth.

"Not what I meant," he managed to say as he caught his breath.

"I mean for us. Am I 20 years too late?"

"Ennis, what are you sayin'?"

"Come home Jack."

"What are you talkin' about? I am home."

"No you ain't...."

Another shooting star. Another prayer answered. Busy night up there in Heaven....

"Come home Jack. To me."

THE END